Hunter Biden — history's most successful crackhead...

By far. And it isn't close.

Think about it… A whore-banging, stripper-impregnating, crack-smoking mess doesn’t, under normal circumstances, “manage” money, sit on corporate boards - Amtrak, 2006-’09; Burisma, a Ukrainian (LOL) energy company, 2014-’19 (at $80,000 per/month); and BHR Holdings, a China-based “equity fund,” 2013-’20 - while driving $170,000 dollar cars.  Normally, if your last name isn’t Biden, spend middle-age smoking crack, you end up broke, jailed, or dead.

But not Hunter.  No, he’s made buffoonery performance art, parlaying it into foreign bank accounts, international “deals,” and junkets on Air Force One, all while simultaneously trafficking (a major felony) sex, and wait… wait for it…….

smoking CRACK.

And why not?  He makes King Midas look like Fernie Fumblefingers.  With no fear of jail, no prosecution, he can smoke crack, peddle influence, and, as he fills the family coffers, spread DNA at Motel 6 nationwide.  Indeed, one senses - at least I do - that he could shoot skeet from the Lincoln bedroom, blasting pigeons while smoking crack, and the media, from a careening clown car, would blame Trump.

Yes, consequence - for shaking down oligarchs, for smoking crack with strippers, for driving 170 in a 50 while, again, on crack - eludes Hunter, a kid so gifted that when he opted to take up painting (a gouache here, a tempera there), he “shook the art world,” demanding SIX-figure sums.

Wow — 99.9999% of painters don’t, after decades, make $500,000 per/painting, but not everyone is gifted, and authentic Maestros, the Hunter McCoys, are Dodo rare.  Hunter, a Maestro, defies limitations, those applicable to you and me, and, heck, even apes, none trained formally (and who knows whether they smoke crack) paint nude.

Is Hunter a zoo ape?

No.  Apes don’t bang strippers.  They don’t drive Ferraris.  And, therefore, it’s hypercritical, or at least partisan, to compare gorilla artists to the pride-and-joy of the president of the United States.

Still, we must consider Van Gogh.  Poor guy.  Had he been born Van Biden, he wouldn’t, today, be considered nuts, and I doubt, with strong sales and Chinese money, he’d’ve killed himself.  Indeed, his final words, “The sadness will last forever,” escape Joe’s boy, who, when the day comes, the last breath drawn, will say the opposite.

But that’s life... Between lily pads and starry slumber, amber fields and rolls of hay, had Vince been born a Biden (the Netherlands equivalent), he could have illegally purchased guns, committed no consequence fraud, and been paid to expel CO-2, all while dying, an old man, with TWO ears!

So little wonder Joe’s proud.  Hunter, a chip off the block, rudders Money Laundering International, a syndicate of shell companies, secret bank transfers, and the amazing ability to create tangible assets for people named Biden who don’t possess jobs…  Who possess no SKILLS.  Not unless you count money-laundering, buying crack, losing laptops…

Wait, are those skills?

Sure… He has them, the lad, but has redefined what “skill” means.  Once (and it wasn’t long ago), if you said “only in America,” it meant that America is special, that nowhere else does one find such rich opportunity, the ability, by the sweat of one’s brow - and perseverance - to succeed.

But Hunter Pay demands nothing: no skill, no perseverance, no allegiance.  With Hunter, the Bidens, malfeasance rules, and, in their case, “Only in Russia, China, Ukraine, Venezuela, the Maldives, Romania, and _________” (fill blank), amass wealth.

Indeed, Hunter, as such, is a global citizen, a thriving crackhead - history’s MOST thriving - so relax, kick back,  and admire the oxymoron: Jobless millionaire… Untalented maestro… Elite druggie.

LOL… Remember when they said “the adults were in charge,” that, elect Scranton Joe and “norms” would return?

Well, they didn’t mention sex tapes and sleaze.  Didn’t mention money-laundering, foreign bribery, and intemperate graft.

But that, friends, is “Clowntopia,” the up-is-down paradigm in which, as you struggle, as Americans hurt, Hunter, the Maestro, falls ever UPWARD, creating wealth ex nihilo, bigger than life, and, with the media silent, our enemies strident, laughs to the bank — pure Biden Gold.

~ Greg Halvorson

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